HOW DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
AFFECTS CHILDREN
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When parents are acting abusively to one another, it interferes with
their ability to adequately parent and protect their child to such a
degree that the child may become seriously neglected.
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Research by the U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect suggests
that domestic violence may be the single major precursor to child abuse
and neglect.
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Regardless of whether children are physically abused, the emotional
effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the
psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse.
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Parents who are abusive to one another sometimes intentionally injure
their children in an effort to intimidate and control their adult
partner. Often, children are injured when they get caught in the
‘crossfire’ of their parents’ fighting.
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Injuries to older children often occur when the adolescent attempts to
intervene during their parents’ violent episodes.
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Although many parents believe they can hide domestic violence from their
children, the children living in these homes report differently. Even
if they don’t see the actual fighting, they hear the screams, see the
bruises, broken bones, and abrasions and are directly affected by their
parents’ emotional pain and upset in the aftermath.
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Children model what they see and many of the long-term effects of
growing up in a violent home can be devastating. Through their parents’
and their own experience, children learn to equate love with pain and/or
violence. Abusive behavior and violence can become their primary method
of conflict resolution.
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Studies indicate children of abusive families are at a greater risk for
developing self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse, eating
disorders, self mutilation and even suicidal ideation.
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There is growing evidence that as child-witnesses to domestic violence
grow up, they have a 74% higher likelihood of committing assaults as
adults.
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Boys who witness their mothers being abused are more likely to batter
their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes.
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No studies or statistics can ever possibly measure the life-long impact
domestic violence can have on a child’s self esteem, capacity to trust
others, and how they will approach all relationships through out their
life, including how they someday parent their own children.
CHILDREN’S
REACTIONS TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
A child is always affected by their family's violence. Their reactions may
become immediately apparent, or surface days, weeks, even years later. Just
how a child expresses their fear, upset, anger and confusion can vary
according to their age.
Children 5 years of
age and younger
often react to episodes of violence in their family by returning to
behaviors exhibited at earlier ages (these are called regressive behaviors),
such as: thumb-sucking, bedwetting, and fear of darkness. Other typical
reactions can include any number of the following:
Children in the age range of 6 to 11 years old
who are growing up in violent homes are at great risk for recreating the
abusive behaviors they have seen and behaving abusively and violently with
their siblings and peers. Regressive behaviors are not uncommon for children
ages 6 to 11, as well. Other reactions that are typical include:
The
adolescent child (ages 12 to 17)
may
feel extreme guilt over not being able to prevent the domestic violence from
occurring, or, in some cases, feeling they are somehow to blame for the
family’s problems. They may also experience reactions similar to those of
adults, including:
